the only good thing that came from this philistine lunatic person
came to me so i could ask about do words have special feelings or a sound when the word is very important
he said yes
then it goes into another topic
but instead of finding an answer,
it leads into a wrong direction
as he misunderstood what I told him
with that in mind.. it still kinda helped
however, it was still towards magic only power from sexual energies
let's just say we have sexual energy without actually doing anything
or just by solo rather than with a lover
for him, it was against the whole lovers and human desire and human needs...
so how can he go on about sex magic when he is actually against love?
to me, it is all bananas
pun intended lol
lets get back to the point of things...
you all know i have been going through a dark night of the soul
a new one
this one has lasted a long time now
i still struggle with finding... no, accepting my soul name from another life
what got me to that point was... from heartbreak
before it was to piss someone off
then it became a struggle for me to accept that this is indeed real... who i once was
i had a name
the name had a "weight" a special "sound" to it
i kept denying and running
my angels know i have been struggling with this since the day i found it
what changed now was
my angel kept calling on that name
why after this crazy town person came to me... i shall never know...
that is the only thing that leads to a chanting of the name
until my mind saw something
it was a sandstone box with boards covering the entrance
aye a coffin
like a vampire
and yes the coffin lid was nailed shut
somehow she opened the nailed lid from the inside
her voice soon filled my mind like the focus was completely on her voice rather than my own
you could tell she was shaken up
she must have been there for a long time
i can't really remember what was said but i can give my best guess
why did you lock yourself away in that coffin?
were you trying to run away from your emotions? running away from who you are? you're stronger than that! i face my emotions daily as i am still haunted by that event
i still feel the heartbroken
how dare you say otherwise! then why are you in that coffin and how long were you there
i... can't remember...
i know you feel cut off from godhood
the pain is overwhelming
yet here you are, still alive
still breathing
despite everything
your light is strong
the darkness did not destroy you
through her left eye
a new vision appears
a magic ritual was being performed
during the time loop, you must have kept going down that path
somehow it erased your memories
somehow it disconnected you from your higher self.. the rest of your self
since the loop is gone
you took a different path and now in uncharted waters
in this life, you rejected being with the warlock as he hurt your heart
you refused to be the person he claimed you to be
and no, your not who he says you are
you were right about that one
you have to reach the light again
you are doing it in your way, i know
keep at it
do not listen to this fool who says you are not blessed by the gods when in fact you are!
you have blessed other people and maybe even saved their lives!
you are indeed a true light being soul
no demon can vanquish you
instead your light and mine combined have kept the demons at bay
i know you had voices in your head that were against the light but little did they know
they were helping you rise up and to one day eradicate them with our light combined
i know you're afraid but let me do a Wiccan ritual
don't worry its close to your natural magic from the upper dimensions
your birthright!
now tell me what do you see?
we are on a hill
in a clearing in the forest
i can look past the treetops
its night time
i see the full moon and stars above
hold out your hand
what do you see me put in your palm?
herbs
no leaves
some sort of plant
before we could continue i was woken up from the trance abruptly
when i tried to go back into the trance
she was standing over the coffin
her hand on the door, ready to step back inside
my angel called to her
but the vision fades before i could see what happened next
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