i hadn't used this site in awhile
sorry about that,
i moved things to discord
then when guilded came out
i moved everything to a neat blog forum thread
folders to keep things neat and tidy
to help members find things more easily
as i was told this blog system on this website is a bit wonky and hard to find things
so i am not entirely sure who keeps watching my old posts here or not
but if you are still wandering around
here is bad news
warning sensitive content (sad)
my dad had recently passed away
i wrote it in guilded and on youtube
now i am sharing it on my old website
lets just say since 2021 the years have not been kind to me
i can barely recall everything now
i will list them the best that i can
warning crazy and me venting
1 dog passed away
2 moved only to lose most of my stuff on the interstate
3 moved to a bi polar person
4 bi polar person would be nice then scream at you the next
5 i am so exagsted to take a shower and wanted to do it every 3 days to recover my stam
however she got in my face about it before i could jump in
6 she got in my face about shaving and asked me a really uncomfortable question
7 in the end she threatned the cops on us to get out because the conversation started out as
i was upset about the glasses and i said no i was not upset
then the person called me a brat and i lost my cool and called her a bitch
after all i could no longer keep my calm and was tired of how she treated me
8 she is a worry wort and would freak out on you and you just sat there and took the verbale abuse
i cant really remember how those conversations went other than her basically yelling at us
9 she assumes things before asking
10. she thought we were talking bad things about her behind her back
when in reality she did that same thing to her friend about me
11. i move back home only to meet a controlling push over who takes control and does things her way... without really asking for your permission on the matters
why? because she married my dad
so we had several out burst of being mad at his wife for doing this without asking me
in other words i feel like i am being treated like a child and have zero control over my life
which brings me to say this now
12. my dad had just recently passed away
13. the life i knew is now out of my hands
i do not want to move to another city i know nothing about
i do not want to move to strangers whom i have never met
i do not want you to schedule a dr appointment without my consent and force me to travel when i am not up to traveling
in other words i am having a panic attacks now because of her push over self
who treats me like her own kid because she was married to my dad
because the law says now she is responsible for me
however my real mother can take me to the dr and get me on SSI
i do not need my step mother to be the one in control of my life
in fact i am 29 years old and had plans for myself
now that is out of the question
because once again she dosnt have a real conversation and takes matters into her own hands
she asked but the conversation went sideways and got off topic
in other words we barely had a chance to respond
for starters we were still shocked at my dad
so we didnt respond to the moving question, she just automatically wants this
she thinks she is helping because she has family, who again i never met
why?
my dad was to scared to invite me to the wedding 5 or 6 years ago
heck they met 11 years ago
did he say anything?
no
he just cheated on my mom and had a triple life
no one knew about her for many years
then you drop this bomb shell on us
and now another bombshell on your death bed
and another bombshell after he passes
to find out his secrete pills
and now she is taking control over my life
at this point i have no free will anymore
and i am pancaking and freaking out
i get that she feels the need to look out for me but god i have my own mother who can drive and get me set up with a life
like we had been trying and planning since we got back
but moving is a very difficult thing
espically when you have no references
and no history of previous places
because your name was not on the deed
because my dad owned the houses
the other posts about what happened is floating around in guilded, youtube and discord
for now 2024 has to be the worst year of my life
first we meet a pushy wife
who didnt ask me where i wanted to go for my birth day dinner and just went where she wanted to go
and then she started to cook and go to other places to eat
then in the summer time she had plans to do this and that
again without asking for any feedback
until that went up in smoke when my dad suddenly passed away
and now i have no free will anymore because she took over my life
without my consent
like WTF
i can only imagine that and hope that this is not actually going to happen and i can figure out how to stay in my home town where i grew up and lived my whole life
to travel to her city and meet her people
and get used to the area
i am not going to another place where i wont like it and find out that they dont have the same clothing store i go to and dont have the same supplies
in fact the last place i lived at, they had none of the same supplies i used to get
and the clothing store was two cities away
however we had no car and had to take a bus
and the bus schedule is the worst matter of all
because you never knew the times and if you miss it you would get stranded
which is what happened to me
and if i move to this other city
i am going to be without a car for she is taking the truck
for she was married to him and thats that
so she said dont worry we have a bus and im near two stores
unless you live downtown
and im like , a bus again
where you can barely get anything
and where i live currently it would be 2 hours or more on bus and waiting to get to store and back
only for your milk and the like to spoil?
no thank you
and thanks for not talking about getting me a car
just says bus
like WTF
so many things are unknown
so many things she could say but dosnt
she just a push over
and just assumes and dosnt give you a chance to answer
and then buts in and changes the subject
its like she cant stay focused for very long
im sorry but this is not right
once again she is treating me like a child who has no say