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grieving/ Dark Night of the Soul = Healing

Writer's picture: amarathystamarathyst

6-12-20 no matter how long it takes me to get my groove back

my previous posts are still shinning me forward


i still help people from my old posts even if i have not posted in weeks or months


my light is still here even after i go silent or have no net

 

i been quite on my accounts barely saying anything

why?

so much hate I have 4 the demons around me

stressful life is the culprit

who can concentrate & hear the voices

I can not right now


that is about to end

my new chapter is about 2 begin


hopefully, i can begin to write again


and with this all said

i have to find a way to forgive myself of my selfish acts


after all, my angel told me

a demon would not care

a demon would never know he was selfish in the first place

a human might but its highly unlikely I would not be alive right now if I was a demon


the things I went through

no normal person could have gone through it & lived

a demon would have succumbed to it

not a being of light

 

its been a year and 2 months

that event still weighs heavy on me

its always in the back of my mind


i now see how i was selfish...

i now know why the event happened


i know my guardian angel keeps telling me

i need to forgive myself rather than asking of it from this person

 

humans think they know their selfish acts and ego but its highly unlikely they know to the full extent

some just copy cat other people without realizing and without understanding


an awakened soul would be able to detect

to understand

to overcome

to one day SEE it


not everyone can do this


I see so many times they think they have overcome selfishness but instead, they just go with the mainstream and copy cat others


 

people are still being 3D, low end 4D and barely anyone is being high-end 4D going into 5D

 

maybe i am just overlooking into this


maybe I am miss seeing and misunderstanding


who knows but its what notice and feel it


it is my opinion after all

 

6-16-20

Just realized I went through another Dark Night of the Soul

For a whole year and 2 months

I carried a pain

A new battle scar


My actions were selfish

Once I realized that I then felt shame and a hint of guilt


After I realized my truth of what I was feeling

I began to heal

i know i have already said in a previous post

I rather do the work myself rather than be handed it


this remains so even now

turns out the entire time i was grieving over a loss


no matter what i did the pain of that weight remained heavy in the back of my mind


it was only me grieving


time heals all wounds...

and through it all my angel kept telling me

learn to forgive yourself

your not a demon

 

no demon could see their mistake not in the way you have seen it

a demon would continue to be selfish

they would not feel any shame or guilt

their cycle would continue over and over again and with every new person they meet until they see through their flaws and change themselves for the better

not many people can do this

most would never admit their wrongs and they hide from themselves


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