in the short three years
i met people who pushed me upwards
gave me the tools i needed to become who i am today
even if they did not stay in my life
or i found that they were actually against the light and was demonically influenced
two people were angel messengers
I continue to write down things even if i have only one person who i know actually listens to EVERYTHING i say
i may have more than one person but they have all but went silent on me
maybe they have nothing to add or no comment other than hearts
who knows
i will eventually get over this ego part of myself
i grow jealous of the people i watch and follow who have MILLIONS of followers
they have tons of fun and doing what they love and it shows
they GLOW i have to remind myself
they deleted all of their blocks
they removed all of their insecurities
they have tons of light and it shows
these people are very likable
they hold nothing back and allow nothing to hold them back
they are awesome on camera
photogenic?
is that even a thing
well seeing the people i follow... yeah its differently something
they got up to millions in a year time or less
how.. IDK... lucky?
i say its pure luck because i been on youtube for 4+ years and i still don't have a hundred subscribers lol
maybe i am too powerful for my own good and too "crazy" is it because i do not edit my videos?
is it because i do not add an intro or end screen in each video along with telling people to subscribe?
nah.. i mean i did try that before and it never really seemed to work for me... then again i hated doing that as it felt like i was begging people to subscribe - forcing them to do something rather than letting them do it on their own power - if they
aligned with me
to grow
find another person who loves what you do as much as yourself
find other people who feel this way
sharing and more sharing
people spread the word
people doing videos on you
people doing reactions to your videos on camera or in blogs or posts
a dream come true... people talking to other people about you and the work you do.. be it good or bad... its still publicity to you
and now your famous lol
me, i i have one person who cares and that is good enough for me until i magically blow up on youtube lol
the time is not right now for me to be famous...
sorry, I know I keep bringing this all up.. time and time again...
I need to heal this part of myself
I just not sure how to do that - yet
find yourself first then you will become famous
no one likes a person who keeps changing their mind all the time
and i continue to evolve and grow
as i try to find myself
yeah that must be it
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