I am surprised you found me via youtube. (the view count shows hardly anyone notices me lol ) sorry that's a lil weird to start off with.
oh you came from my first account before i made my new account and rebooted
considering i am not a thelemamite anymore.
I also don't really practice. Thelema anything now days other than do your mission and make it your true will - thing.
I'm more Spiritual from other walks of life. mix and match. make my own path and walk it.
Aye I had or I think I have two versions of the LBRP up
either way it was done for complete noobs and slow it down and really explain it
as I usually do with any of my videos since a person asked me to basically dumb it down for him and give him word meanings and really slow down so he could grasp it.
I only did that with tutorial videos mostly
my format is whatever enters my head I speak and then it goes off track then back again… so yeah long drawn out explanations on that front as well lol
anyways, not many people feel a connecting to me
my aura is just too powerful – it seems lol
yesterday I was met with a crazy person
he talked about magic and rituals for him getting blessings and money so he could basically stay out of his body longer and longer.. or some weird nonsense like that
he was not the same person I known when I first met him and he vanished on me for 3 months and showed back up with all this insane talk and giving me false acusations saying I was cursed because he thought my life was hell and bad people keep coming to me and trolling me
he failed to see my blessings
he failed to see how I work my magic
he failed to see that the gods I follow have indeed blessed me
I cant rally put into words how I use my magic other than words just enter me and I write them down
same with trances from doing light language and I see images in my mind
aye at the time of that video I was still working through stage fright and maybe even now but as time went on. It went less and less stage fright as I got into my grove more and more
even then I was strong and now I am stronger so that crazy guy is false when he said I did not ascend higher when we last spoke… then again im pretty sure he is not the same soul I was talking to before he vanished on me for three months. Just another crazy guy trying to judge me by saying he was warning me. don’t shoot the messenger as they say.
Most people can not see how powerful I am. Only a few people have done so. You are one of those few lucky people who have seen the power that I possess.
Finding your feet in any medium can be tricky. To find the inner fire is also a difficult road to self discovery.
My daily affirmation has been work with my light and holy guardian angel
before I figured that out, nothing else really worked for me
I rely on my power
I am divine
I am powerful
I am magical
I am 5D
when I fall out of tune with my light
only then do I notice I am not at full strength
I am dragon magic
I am angel magic
I am a phoenix who continues to evolve and rise from the many “deaths” that I had over gone
oh I have many spiritual blog posts I have made and shared. Be it on my website, Instagram, and on YT
guess I did put it to words on how I use my magic
not just my words but my light as well
Sorry for the late response.
Ah I didn't think you would do sacrifice rituals. When I met people who admitted they do that… I feel a strange aura feeling within them. I didn't feel that with you but had to comment on this, regardless. Glad I didn't offend you with it.
Aye, the hardest to find is the most special
I do cherish each moment with new people I meet even if they wind up being a troll and not a blessing.
With you I wasn't sure where you were coming from at first. Since last time I met with a person who talked about magic.. they ended up saying, let me drink your blood for magic purposes or something very weird like that. They also said I looked just like this woman from Thelema. He was not the first to admit this but… I don't think you would be a negative blessing to me.
Considering what I have read thus far.
I must be near the bottom of each search list lol. As I dont have any comments on most of my videos. And my tagging must be bad too lol… still, you somehow found me.
It must be for a reason. Since it was rather difficult to find me.
I do agree people need to be aware of every little detail and not just the common sense ones. He was wrong to judge me like that. He was not the first sadly. The other guy said I was hiding from my pain with every post I would write and share. I got fed up and blocked him as he was twisting my words into something they were not. Said a god sent him. Another person tried to deceive me into converting into their pantheon to find an answer. When I saw what was happening I instantly blocked him. He came back though with a new account to tell me I was this god’s destiny child. I felt no connection to the name or his pantheon he came from… I did not write back and blocked the guy.
Other people were bots :P
yeah its been crazy these past three months.
With you I don't feel anything like I did from before when people approached me saying from magic or messenger or a connecting. I feel your more curious about magic more than anything. Like the inner fire that I have. I cant really put it to words, yet.
The only ego I have is apparently wanting to be noticed on YouTube for my spirit blog. Lol I’m not the only person who feels the same way. The motions of being an artist. I want to be heard, I want to be seem. I do get jealous/ envious of other people I follow but I never let it go to my head. My fans and friends are on the same level as me. I am not above anyone. Even if I feel I am above closed minded people.
Aye magic is a form to create into being. You make your own realty. Delete ego and anything that holds one back from true self. I noticed I am not really affected by human needs and desires much. What I mean is anything negative I toss out. Anything that upsets the balance I remove. I try to be true to my soul. I use terms of 3D and 5D a lot in my works..
that's peer pressure for you. Since I hardly have friends I am mostly free of this.
What you described is basically what I have done. Its just hard for me to explain these things.
If I do have strong visualization I am simply not aware of it. Or can not put it to words even though it is exactly what I am doing. I call it my higher self, intuition, spirit ETC. I know it is my magic I just have a real hard time putting it into words.
I tried thelema magic but when I kept reading and studding those books. I kept seeing demonic influences. I only did the LBRP a couple of times.
I took some information from what I learned and made my own thing.
Your not the only one who feels thelma magic does not speak to me.
I was never fond of sexual magic anyways. Lets just say I was burned by men to many times and they were not a real love. With that said I have no use for sexual energy now even if my… no that is just putting it into my head which is probably wrong…. I was going to say, if my magic was stronger when I did allow sexual energy to thrive… vs now without. That just goes back to that judgmental prick. Said I did not ascend or get stronger and my energy is still weak or weaker…
when I did use sexual energy it was never towards visualizations to be better lol
I hear sexual energy is tied to creativity as well but I just don't see it
yeah this thought is clearly wrong… the only thing I notice is… the good feeling, no thoughts of sexual anything, no self love through the act of… there are other ways to feel or be loved by the gods you believe in and sexual energy is just one of them. I no longer use the sexual energy towards that since. Lets just say I am still searching for myself and to figure things out.
My hunch was right, you rather get to know my inner flame than to use me for your own agenda or to claim something that is not there.
My mission comes first
I have been called Gypsy and Hippie
I want good friends to hang with
I share my inner and higher wisdom to the world
in hopes of finding other people from my soul tribe
the other people I could connect with
above all, have fun
Goals in life:
grow my fan base – again who would not want this when you create something XD
find other people I connect with or let the people find me
share my light with the world – already doing that ;)
ascend higher than where I am already – a long process I am already in
remember my past life/ figure out why I woke up from blackness
I am working towards is this one name… a part of my soul story
I have gone through my ideas on what I could do in life but it always goes back to what I am already doing.
I am no entertainer lol yet I have tried to record Let’s Play series – solo. I did spread some wisdom into them. Its just a different format and I never know what to say… I just need to find my mojo in that format.
The most important thing to me would be my magic. Without it I would not be who I am today. Which goes back to be true to my soul.
Be in balance
spread my light
spread my inner and higher wisdom
be in peace
be in balance
be on 5D for I am so close to it
unlocking more of myself
I expose demons
I expose false light
I enforce the ways of the old gods for I walk with them
ETC
Glad you are enjoying our conversations and writing to me
long ago I use to write in groups and on forums to random people
that all changed when I changed my faith
from a satanic person who saw satan as a symbol only
to a person who was trying to find which pantheon they felt a connection to
then came Thelma then came not Thelma
now comes, light path and inner spirit
I use to approach people
as my faith started to change
I found that people were distancing themselves from me more and more
I eventually stopped writing in groups, to people, and on forums
in fact, people were ignoring me
I would write on posts and people would ignore me but not other people who would respond to the same post as I did
I got fed up and stopped
if I did have people talking to me, it was because they wanted to date me
that happened a lot to me
I now have only two real people I talk to
the rest sadly went MIA with this virus, only commented, or went fake on me
though this is nothing new to me
my friend often jokes that I am just too powerful and my light is too strong
I can only assume that you have maybe felt this before I even spoke about it
aye, I am a free spirit and so many people forget what it is like. They rather do what others do. Do what is trending and follow, follow, with no second thought.
Lost souls
lost minds
sleep walking and not being alive or to even know what that is
we are dealing with demon souls in human bodies
humans follow the darkness rather than embracing the light
then you have the other people who actually embrace spirit but still do evil things
you can not change your soul race, you only become what you are the whole time
I tried being something I was not and almost lost my mind because of it
until I woke up and saw what was going on
that is when I realized
sex magic is basically lost to mankind
I have never found the right person to be only about light
it just became lust and more lust
in the end I guess that is what drove me to giving my sexual energy to a pantheon but ultimately got lost
the sex magic went from… whatever it is to just desire and love
until I said no more as it was just lust in the end
so im not too fond of sex magic
sure I had people share the quotes of what sex should be about
but I have yet to find the right person
and right now, I do not care to find him
sex magic is not at my core anymore
as I lost the basics and went only to desire and lust
or maybe its because I never found a true lover, to begin with
I was told, maybe I am single for a reason
I am down with it
I am happier than when I was dating online
anyways
yes, you either make and live in hell
or you wake up and say no more
you shape your life
you make decisions that lead you down or up
most can never see this
they rather do the easy thing
they are a tree who refuses to move
doing the easy way out
being lazy
being cons
being evil
they think they can justify it but being evil can never be justified
I heard a man who prays to god… says to another person, ima kill you
how is that ok to say?
Just because you ask for forgiveness does not mean you deserve it
so the world continues to be in chaos for the demons made it that way
demon souls hidden in human bodies
rule this world
I have met many demonic souls
I block them all as they show their true faves to me
yes people play characters
you either become something you are not and stay that way
or you say no more
people fall in love with an idea
a character that does not truly exist
and people wonder why they break up
you harm someone
you break their heart
you manipulate them
you change and became a different character
or you wake up and be true to you
so you lose everyone around you
but this character goes everywhere
people are programmed
to be a certain way
lost in the matrix – as they say
be at a job they hate
have kids you didnt want with the person you didnt want
so on and so on
its so hard to find true love in this broken world
the world is broken and yet people see me as the alien and broken for I do not follow the way of life that is on earth in the here and now
its hard for me to put this to words…
I do not belong in this current time
I often say that the world is backwards
I use to talk about this stuff with a person but he was a narcissism type of person. He also lied to me about how he thinks of me. He says I am wrong about saying black vs white. Evil vs good. He saw the racism war when ever I mentioned this.
The thing is… its demons vs light beings… has nothing to do with the color of your skin.
Many black people are demonic souls but some blacks are good…
this person could not get past this steeple thinking. Says he is on higher thinking but he just lied to himself since he does what lower thinkers do…
manipulation
lying
secrets
and other things that tore me and him apart
glad he is out of my life because he lowered my vibration rather than uplifting me
with that said I see the real war that is going on
not many have the eyes
not many have the ears
I was reading the emerald tablets of Thoth which spoke about.. how to really know someone
and so much other information
I should go back and finish reading that book
I honestly dont know much about Thelema but what I do see is demonic influenced
I made a post about it over on instagram
still cant believe a guy approached me to say.. . I want to drink your blood for magic
I was also told to listen to a husband without question and actually go back in time when the wife would do just that… the old days… where woman had really no say in matters. No woman rights
he told me to basically follow every command and order without question to a husband
and I saw that as being enslaved
and said it was all because of Thelma – whatever… I cant put this to words , I just call it as I see it
sure they took an ancient sexual energy and turned it into something that it is not
be a slave to a husband – NO WAY!
I see sex as the old… divine energies
but that too has lost sight
so many want lust and desire
rather than the pure form of what sex should be about
yes, you are told to be a certain way
programmed to be this way
listen and follow
rather than think for yourself
to find what you are
I too had to go through that
I fell out of the loop – somehow
and found myself
through many trials
not many get to this stage
and stay asleep
as they are zombies and robots
dead brains
going through the motions and not being free
not being alive
staying asleep
or they turn con and fake being spiritual
those are the worst ones
I met a person like that once.. turns out the person was crazy
society tells you who you need to be
free will is but gone
you are now programmed
welcome to earth
where you stay in hell
asleep
being a robot
followering rather than leading
this is not the way of upper dimensions
I can only assume… this earth life is only on earth…
oh dont get me started with a couple who….
Woman does everything for the man to make him happy
man thinks he is god
man is still not happy no matter what he tells her to do
man goes away to meet another woman behind her back
man has double life
man abandoned his GF and kid
man gets married to this new woman
but still lives with his ex GF and kid
man disowns his kid for he did not tell the kid he was getting a wife
man is a demon hiding in a human body
for the man always lies
can not tell the truth to save his life
man abuses
man is a control freak
man manipulates
woman tries to leave
man prevented her from leaving
man bullied her into thinking she cant sue him for child support
woman tries again to leave
man says ima call the cops if you take my car
woman tries to talk to him about her moving
man gets pissed and walks away
ignoring her
is the woman in the wrong here?
No, for she is not a demon soul while the man is
the man must enjoy living like this and making the woman and kid live in hell and missery and suffering
the man wont acknowledge your complains
for he is the devil and you are nothing more than a pawn so he can dance with satan
like you said most humans enjoy making other people suffer
you can see the grins of evil on their faves
and they wonder why the world is broken
look around you
but they are too stupid to even understand
for all they see is death and destruction
and they enjoy the drama and chaos of the world
as they ask aimlessly
why is this happening to me
why is their so much hate
why…
so many dumb people in the world
they cant rise for they are what they are and can not change
they only become what they are deep inside
true love is without judgmental thoughts, drama, petty fights… status… greed, like you said
with me I kept finding the red flags
for they could not see me
just a false mask they thought I was
and so I stopped trying to find real love and real friends
for all I kept finding was rocks
who lowered me
who did not appreciate me
who hated my posts
that guy I mentioned early he even admitted that he hated what I was becoming
he feared my light
he kept changing his mind about me so many times that I finally cut him out of my life
he still tried to get back into my life
the last thing he did was
I am a changed leaf
please believe me
and I did until he went right back to what he did all them other times
he finally let me go based on the sole fact of he thinks I am a KKK member lol
he even asked me if I was …
im glad he is gone… I dont need his drama
thinking he knows why people do what they do
and I just dont want to hear it
talked down to me
thinks I dont know anything
he got the wrong impression about me and it never left his mind
then again he kept changing his story about me… so its hard to say what is even real anymore
I thought I found real love once but I was wrong
in my mind, you have to be more, be deeper
meet me
see me
not just desire alone
not just these mundane feelings and actions
and so I know since I question did I love him and wanting more..
it was not real love
even though he is more real than most
however he is too quite for my liking
he is the quite type and hardly comments on anything
he is also not as spiritual as me
which turned into a problem for me
he did get under my skin with some comments on an artwork here and there
but he still is more real than anyone else I met…
at least I know he is a fake friend… and that is good enough for me
if you believe in soul mates… being with one soul through out each lifetime… then maybe it all makes sense of this pure divine love
I have yet to find this divine love flame
and I know I never will
as this world is broken
as most people are demons hiding in human bodies
I am a light being
here to find the other people of my soul race
fighting demons
as I am a warrior goddess
I have looked into twin flame posts but they were not divine enough for me to stay around
as they became lower and stuck on 3D
so much higher wisdom is lost
so much higher knowledge is lost and twisted into something else entirely and you can no longer recognize what it once was
earth is not the place to find true divine love
sure some people claim to be with their soul mate but so many have not found it
I continue to be ignored and tossed aside
as I dont belong on this planet
and the demons know
I feel what you say in this message about magic, true love, and the masks
its all true
I know I have not been able to remember what true love is really about… on a higher deeper thinking but you did a better job than I could ever do
I know I have lost sight of this
better yet, that is not my mission so I overlooked it and forgot about it
knowing my soul mate could never be found
hmm, maybe that is why I sent my love to the gods via sexual means… was actually a good thing and not a false love but something else entirely
I am still working out the details on that one
but here is to a new perspective on things, thanks to you, I am thankful
Thank you for seeing my divine depth… I just went through a person tearing me down and saying very harsh things towards me. The real hurtful came from being told I am not divine at all and I dont know what is really going on even though I do… that is if you saw my website and my other spiritual videos and posts.. then you can kinda know what the argument was about.
I’m going to give an example:
a demon came to you for help
they want to be a copy cat of you
you do anything and everything in your power
to help this person
sadly you are draining your energy
the demon keeps feeding on you
saying please continue I want to be just like you
I want to be perfect like you
I want to think and act like you do
so you continue until you feel completely drained
and had no choice but to take a step back
I can spot manipulate actions
I can spot demonic thinking and behaviors
like how this guy was insulting me even though I never once attacked him
and for some reason he thinks I was in the wrong and he was mr right
he said but I was only trying to help and I gave you only facts
how can his facts be solely based from insulting me and tearing me down?
He is a demonic person who knew how to feed on my light
every time I would mention my light or my blessings he would attack me and spit in my face
that is a good example of my divine thinking…
yet says I am a 1 dimensional being who talks out their ass and is the asshole
thankfully you can see my divine means…
to even see my light
you and only another person spoke about seeing my light
the third person is not really spiritually but he still talks to me from time to time
life just got busy so he had to take a step back
but he never once tore me apart…
even if he is not spiritual and not that into what I offer :P
yes not a common conversation but this is my normal to be honest…
then again I do not think of myself as human and see myself as a light being
a 5D person who came from the upper dimensions to earth… to spread higher wisdom and knowledge down here on 3D earth lol
yes everyone is distorted and to stay locked
my ex-friend I just talked about… made sure I would stay locked even though he was like… but I am trying to help you… I want you to go higher like I have… he claimed to be on a higher level than I am but It is quite the opposite
hell, even you and I can basically see the same things
sure not in the exact same way but its similar
oh yes the prison guard… he was that
omg, talk about synchronization :O :O :O
its a potty he claimed to be high level like us but tore me apart
he is not on high level
all he cared about was blasphemy against the christian bible
he loved blasphemy and anything to spit in the face of christ
I met people like that before and boy their auras were nasty
something was very off about them and this was before I had my spiritually awakening
whats funny is this troll claimed to be on my website and reading my spirit posts
yet attacked me on multiple levels
he is a Pleadian Demon…
he spat at my beliefs and the gods I walk with
saying but they are fake gods because you are not blessed and have no easy income
just because I have a harder life than most does not mean I am fucking cursed…
he used my past mistakes and the negative side of things only
never did he see the positive in me or in my life
that is a demon for sure
yet says I am the asshole ROLF
you got to be fucking kidding me…
clearly you and I are on the same wavelength
since you too can see demonic thinking, actions, and behaviors
yes not a typical conversation but I live this everyday
it is my job to expose demons and false light
I love my job…
heck even in this one part of my video that I was making
I felt power when I spoke about my holy guardian angel… yes, a prayer I personally have written…
I felt power backing my words
so I know I am not crazy or making things up like this demon thinks I have done
or have aligned with false gods…
just because I am not popular dosnt mean anything to me
yet he thinks I need to be in a temple on a pedestal being worshiped by millions
to be considered on a high level and blessed
to say ok you have completed your goals, now you have shown me your real power and energy
he actually did not say those exact words but is what I am inferring is what he actually meant
sorry, I have the whole thing recorded
so if you want to understand more… because I fail to even begin to understand why he said what he said to me…. Let me know
(then again I think I already sent you the video link or blog post link)
he thought I wanted to be ms popular
to be a celebrity
to talk to the masses
to get my message across millions of people
to wake the masses up
to help millions of people
ETC
he thought those were my real goals
boy did he get me wrong
idc to be popular
I did and it made me uphappy that I was not growing my accounts
be it on Instagram or YouTube
it bothered me that I was not getting any traffic to my posts
it bothered me that I was not getting any comments
then it hit me
I do not need hundreds
I only need people who love me for me
then I can slowly grow and not worry to much about being popular
for me, I am a small Niche market. Not many people will understand my posts. Not many can see the light backing me. Not many can see my glow – then again I probably have camera shyness and some stage fight left in me… it is hard to be comfortable on camera. People want to see your happiness and charisma. For me, it has always been hard to be the popular kid. People use to see the dullness in my eyes due to my heavy depression back in the day. Now I try to show powerful energy on camera and through my words. To show that courage on camera. To be that motivational speaker. It is not easy… so that is why it is so hard for me to grow my accounts. I always found my jelously when I see this person has only been on YouTube for 3 months and has already 3K subs… idk I hear stories like that from people who I watch. Saying they grew super fast on YouTube and they were only there for like 3 or 6 months…
but that is really not the point
they probably know how to tag, write titles, and descriptions
and me, I am such a noob on that lol
or I don't even mess with tags, tittles, and I never write descriptions
what I do see from these people
they have tons of fun
they have awesome energy
they are lucky
they have no stage fight or camera shy
they just glow
they are super happy
if its a single player game… well its about being a good entertainer – its hard for me to put that into words on what that even means to me… all I can say is, you got good energy and have lots of fun or you are a comedian and your good at what you do.
Or the video has been edited/ made very professionally like
that can be from good camera settings, location, and sound
sound can be from using a good Equalizer and other processing
sorry I don't really know anything about sound processing lol
My journey is a bit similar
only difference is… I was always alone
I distant myself from the very beginning
I found that people never really liked me even when I was a child
I always felt different because of this
I tried to find friends online but that never really worked either for me
as I was heavily bullied back then
now days I let people approach me and see what happens
not against messages and some people feel I am for some strange reason
other people said I was snobby
I just laugh at them
at least I know my soul path and got rid of all the toxic BS of peer pressure and religion nonsense
I could have been baptised as a child but I never went to church
back then my mother had no car until after this
and even when she could take me to church they never did
I am so thankful for this
sure they say I am wild and such but IDC
at least I am free…
interesting concept on the brainwaves of interaction with divine forces
for me it was natural
sure I met with dark forces first then came the light and right ones
went down a dark path only to end in self discovery
it was not easy since I had no teachers or mentors on anything…
it took me years to find my path
only three people pointed me into the right direction
they say these types of people are angel messengers and I believe it
even though these people did not stay in my life.. I am still grateful for the push in the right direction
like you and so many others
I tried to fit in… to find my place here
even when I was into darkness
I tried to find my passions
I kept finding that I was more into light fantasy than dark gothic stuff
I had no religion and tried to find one that fit me and so I wound up in spirituality
searching for which gods I connect with
eventually I found the ones I connect with
I do get visions and trances
I still doubt that this is happening to me and is real… I do feel insane even though I know I have powers…
I have much to learn and do
my journey is still going
(I have recorded some of my traces and visions on video.)
other times I think they are just wishful thinking and daydreams than actual visions
hard to say really… for me…
I believe in past lives
I have yet to discover one of my names but I feel I am close… yet I still doubt myself on that lol
I was told I needed to have an income to be blessed
since I do not have an easy income of making thousands on a day to day basis.. I am cursed and have no power, no happiness, and no energy.
Just because you have an easy income dosnt mean a damn thing
I think he was one of those people who fell for the law of attraction to gain money
money spells and money mediation BS
I call Bull because I was taught do the hard work and reap the reward
put effort in rather than just do “easy”
the guy used the word cursed loosely
who knows what he actually meant on me being cursed
for I do not see myself cursed but very blessed
I know I hardly have any money… hell I might as well have zero
and I would be happy as a druid
internet would be nice to share my videos with others lol
though im happy in nature
call me a hippie, call me a gypsy
I live as if I was in the ancient days of man
where money hardly ruled… well then again I dont really know what happened in BC time…
history does have lots of stuff wrong…
so I will just say this instead
if I was on a different planet
full of more intelligent people
then I would live like that
where money does not rule the world
where society would be the exact opposite of earth is
where spirit would rule
where nature would be left alone
better and more laws to protect nature
ETC
and so I never fit into this world
I gave up in trying to find my place in it
I made my own path
forged my own community even if it has like only 5 or so people in it lol
I gave up on trying to find others like myself
I let them come to me
I let them somehow find me
and here you are
I always joke that I am an alien visiting this place :P
I agree nothing in this world is normal
money can help
money should be used in moderation
and not run your life competly
then again I was a shut in my whole life
neglected and such
had no friends
I had classmates I talked to but then I found out years later… after high school had ended
they were fake friends and some even forgot about me
I cant blame them for doing that
I never stood out
I never gossiped or did anything else which is drama based and negative energy
even when I was younger I could feel the demonic pressence in the world
I could see it
even in my life when I was on a darker path
I too was demonic
a bit
sure I never hurt anyone unless they attacked me first
but I was selfish
I only cared about my spiritual growth
I could not care for another being
I was all alone so it was normal for me to care only for myself
I wanted to know deeply about this one subject
it was a mystery that I loved and wanted to know everything about
even the stories and myths of the gods I took deep interest in
hmm, maybe that is not even selfish at all
maybe I can not love like how the other people love
maybe that is how I saw myself as selfish but I really am not?
Hard to say since your like the second person I met who can see the world through light filled eyes
well if its a soulmate thing then its completely normal to want to know EVERY little detail
and if you happened to be in a past life that connected to gods then yeah its also normal
(I am still healing or going through a dark night of the soul… oh thats when the person started to ask me things… I got rid of the messages since he just asked me how was I and was I hurting and stuff but when I answered back – like what a dark night of the soul is and how its not a bad thing… he didnt respond back. Then again he always hardly spoke to me and now I know why.
I still have every post on my instagram including this one he commented on which only sparked the curse thing…
me I personally write whatever enters my mind or what is on my mind
be it from trance or the gods are trying to show me something
ETC
it felt like my world was upside down
but then again I had that happen to me when I was on that darker path
until I found my light
idk how or why or even when that happened
all I know is...that it did happen
as they say you can only become what you are meant to be
once a demon always a demon
a human can either change into a demon or turn to light
a light being can change to darkness or stay light
so many think they are doing light but really its so minldess and numb…
like that person I spoke to you about
he thought he was doing me a favor
he thought he was helping
he started from Thelema when I found him
then after that idk what happened
he never went into details other than
he went to the other side – into the all
he found his real power
doing rituals and magic and group rituals
I never knew this until 2020 so I thought he was a different person
his whole vibe was different
he spoke differently too
so yeah I say he is someone else
for all I know his soul was eaten – since he mentioned he ate other people souls for power
omg… I met a guy who said he did that and he tried to eat my soul since I could not do astral sex with him… and then he tried to get me to talk to this girl he wanted but her dead bf was in the way…
I tried to warn her and such but she never wrote back to me and ignored me
he was crazy
he was a satanist
he was pure evil
his friend told me that he vanished
like his soul is not on this earth anymore
he said something bad happened to him
years later after he tried to get me to move in with him for sex and then I heard he tried to eat my soul…
oh no wonder this new troll I felt was off…
I just remembered that other encounter way back when I was trying to find my path
and wound up meeting all these crazy insane dark people
I always said I was protected by unseen forces
now I know who it is and what it is
the soul that protects me is a god I connected with years later in life when I found his name
little did I know the gods were silently guiding me to find the light
now I do light work
to find others
how I found you is the work I do
let the people send messages to me
let the people connect with me
ETC
if I was really cursed and had no power
then you or him would have never found me and started to talk to me
XD
people try to convence you everything is fine... gossip, drama, tv, media.. news.. etc
all of it are tools to brainwash you so you can stay dumb so they can keep controlling you
yes step away from people and you will start to see
though it only happens when you can begin to see and listen
not many can achieve this
how or why it happens is a mystery to me
since i was always free from the start
i could feel the darkness around me
i had no friends
i never belonged
i never fit in
i was bullied
then one day i just woke up to know my mission
to know what i am
to see my light
idk how it happened or why... it just did XD
i rather have people who love me for me rather than some social popular contest thingy....
being fake and drama
being energy vampires is NO thanks
i rather be with people who lift me up than to drag me down
Ah yes the divide that is on earth
good vs evil
white vs black (not racisism of colors) boy did my ex friend go crazy mad when I kept speaking about the war that is on earth. He kept seeing racism war and I was like, no no, its soul race spirit warfare
light vs darkness = soul race war = spirit warfare
gods vs demons
gods vs humans who are evil
gods and light beings holding hands and being friends and teachers
I always saw the divide
I call it as demons vs angels
the corruptions has been going on for thousands of years
I was told, it all started with Lilith
she is the mastermind with writing the bible and giving it to man
the bible is the real evil in the world
and any other religion that has a book lol
budah is not evil
thoth is not evil
those are the only other books I know of…
or written
I dont know everything myself but I just know any real knowledge comes from deep spirit leaders
who can actually back their shit up lol
but the bible cant even do that
I read about creation stories
what if humaity was an illegal race
and the demons just set in
now the light beings who are on earth have to fight with the demons
and then they too have the corruption inside themselves
now many are asleep and dont know their power
many think they do but they dont
many are fakes
many are cons
I for one is real
you are also real
my ex friend.. I thought was real until he shown me his evil demonic face
now I know he is false light who he thinks is all light
for all I know I came from an upper dimension to spread the real light
to find others
to enforce the god plan
to do the god’s work
light work
ETC
I wonder how you feel about what I have said here
on the divide
the illegal race that should not be here and did the corruption
and things got way out of hand
I wonder, do you feel that you came from an higher realm to earth?
Like I have?
I think I came from the highest realm… idk
like im super old or something LOL
then again I always saw myself as a goddess
and I can even say which one I have similar personalities with
it dosnt actually mean I was her but I sometimes feel like I was due to my personality being so close to her’s…
who knows…
(the bible is an undercover story…)
satan wanted to get his people out of hell into heaven
the real god stopped him
now the demons are all on earth
now the real god has to find the other true pure light beings
to get them out of hell and back into heaven
in other words
find your soul power
be happy
be at peace
be in balance
make your heaven on earth
do no evil
harm not the innocent
if its a demon than by all means
defend your honor
fight back then block after you said your peace
work with real magic
work with the gods
do light work
spread light
ETC
yes many people are into what is trending
to be someone else
to be something they are not
for they were programmed that way
conditioned that way
since I had really no peer pressure and never was baptized I could be free
it took me long battles to figure myself out and im still learning about me
such is life though
like you why speak to these people who are well… useless and dead on the inside
I use to say I was broken but then an angel told me… I am not broken, the world around me IS broken
and so the trolls try to tear me down but I fight right back. I say my peace before I block – if I feel the need to, other wise I block right away.
Then again I love exposing demons lol
I know many have told me, why write about what happened
just get over it
me, I let the fire burn
as there are lessons to be shared or to be had
I can never stop myself from exposing or writing about what is on my mind or enters my mind from trances
people just dont get that so they tell me… do not let the troll get to you, even though it did and its done even before you told me to get over it…
so many fakes out there
why talk to them?
I know I dont even try or bother
I just get ignored anyways and have when I tried to find new people to speak with or try to make new friends
I gave up and let the people come to me
even if it takes years :P
im in no rush
being popular is not my goal and never was
oh the sad idiot thought he knew my goals
how I see my goal and how you see it is two different things
as they say
be with people who flame your fire passions
let the fire burn and people around you should fan it
be with people who are on the same spiritual mission as you
yet so many false light out there…
its hard to know the deep meanings behind all these quotes I keep seeing :P
since im not ordinary
im not “human”
I am something more
I am something deeper
many are not on the same path as me
most are not – actually
you stumbled across me and here we are
similar minds
seeing the flame of inner soul fire
to know things…
maybe the divine had guided you to me, to find me
who knows
side note
I feel like I am here but I am not actually here
since I get overlooked
I am invissible to most
I dont fit in
I see the world but im not really here
like I am visiting from another time and space
since I cant grow my social media accounts or my youtube
without buying the tools to do so
and no one can share my stuff because they dont have anyone who they know would be into my stuff
or so they keep telling me :P
even in public
I get these stares like you do not belong
its these odd stares that make me feel uncomfortable
eh, its probably because I dont wear makeup and dress up :P
back then when I would get these stares when I was a child and teenager
People become entangled with false hope and false light
they feed on drama so they never wake up
evil will always be evil
you can not justify it
and that troll tried to jusify himself to me
I spit in his face as I knew he was just another decoy for me to handle and destroy
light beings are asleep
so many of them are asleep and have no idea their true power and light
other light beings go insane and go dark
many can not handle the harshness of this cruel world
so much false light is out there and people feeding into it
people spreading it because they believe in it
even though its false hope
I can see through this fake world
I could always feel something is off about this world
people just love being fake and mindless
even if they think they are on a higher level they really are not
one was a manipulative bastared
many think there insults are facts and are just when they are just lying to your face
the rest just want a one night stand lol
then there is people like you
I can say your the second real legit person I have met who can see this world and soul for what they truly are
many of the higher knowledge from the upper dimensions are lost and twisted on earth
to the point where they are no longer recognizable
now you have to decipher the information and even then you can still get it wrong…
I know I have done that
I was made believe to love your enemies and to forgive them
and that is just wrong… you cant and should not forgive the person for harming you
in any way
and so when I did do just that.. what happened? The person kept hurting me in the same way over and over again until I got fed up and said no more…
you become what you are meant to become
either become light or stay darkness
for an evil soul will always make other people bleed
and that is when I learned
never forgive your haters
never love your haters
Yes, you control your reality
you make your own world that you live in
and yet so many are “stuck” in things they hate
and can not get past it
find your passion that makes you happy
then keep doing it
then find others who are into that same thing
for instance
find other bird waters if your into that hobby
make a club/ community
if you want
grow your brand
ETC
even if you find yourself in a huge community of gamers who are into the same game as yourself
you can still find trolls
you can still be ignored and never find other friends in this community you are apart of
I tried to find other people and when I did they no longer play the game and quit long before I could even start my journey
thats only two or three people
the rest ignored me
one person was a fake friend
another quit the game because he thought I meant something when I didn't
he already was thinking about quitting the game but I added to it since he wanted a person to play with. Thought I would be that person and when he found out something – he quit lol
another person is jealous on me
saying he hardly knows me and wants to change that but… I gave him everything he already needs to know about me and yet still wants to know more…
he also left the conversation and never came back
he now rarely speaks to me
I think he was trying to impress me and since he was not getting anything
he hardly speaks to me now
he brought up about the game we could both play but we never went for it
like why mention that knowing you don't have time
made no sense to me…
so my other friend was like, he is jealous
I always here of people quit the game because they have no one to play with
I for one found myself there too and took a year off before playing again
I tried to record myself playing the game
but I could never find my groove
I found this format to be harder even though I still manage to add spirit knowledge here and there
I found I was losing passion on my spirit blog and making videos since no one was interacting with me
I still battle that feeling of, I am not worth it from time to time
but all creators feel this way so I know its normal when your not growing your numbers or hearing from people
especially when all you get are trolls instead of people who care and see you
that's why I found myself jealous and envious of people I watch and follow
seeing all their comments and stats :P
it makes me want to do better, to get better!
When all else fails
be happy being alone
be happy with who follows you
be happy with the community that you have built
even if your the only person there
sex should be sacred
yet here we are with sex offenders rapists, and other horrible acts
love should be sacred and divine
yet through the dark arts
demons are created through the wrong use of sex
I know I was not conceived with a purpose
years later bad shit happened
so many red flags
my own sister wants nothing to do with me
because my sister had to be giving up
my aunt adopted her
my mother says her sister probably did not tell the whole and truth of the story of why my sister was adopted
so the sister has anger towards her birth mom…
I can only speculate this
since my sister never talks to me
even when she was in the same city as me
instead she is a mindless sheep
while I am divine and she is not
it would make sense more demons are created through the wrong use of sex
and is why the world is corrupted more and more now
not just because the bible made the corruption easier
so many things are at play…
ah it makes sense why I went to a god for love… even if it was a crush at that time
I am still making sense of my soul… on this part of my story. I know I am still healing this wound… all I can say now is when I built that wall up to push him away… I felt off, I cant explain it other than, I felt a disconnect, like I did not feel like myself anymore. Something was missing. Now I am beginning to understand… to see it for what it really is…. For all I know, it is this entanglement between two people!
All I know is
I kept going back to this name
thinking about this name
I was so focused on him
my body responds in a way that is only to this name
no one else but him, how my body responds
its only to him…
I am starting to see that now
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